


a peraltiago baby!

by subjectiveobjection



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:34:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subjectiveobjection/pseuds/subjectiveobjection
Summary: amy goes into labor during the heist. based on that tumblr post that was like "amy times her pregnancy so she can win the heist."





	a peraltiago baby!

“And as you will see,” Jake says, swinging the hidden cabinet door in Terry’s desk open to reveal the championship ring, “the ring was  _ never _ in the ceiling tiles at all, but in Terry’s desk all along!” He grins at the rest of the squad. “And, seeing that it’s 11:57 PM…”

“That’s nice, babe,” Amy says. Jake’s face falls, because whenever she says something like that, she’s outsmarted him- but no, she doesn’t have that smug tone. She sounds strained. “But, uh, my water just broke.”

Jake looks down at the chair that Amy is sitting on. Which happens to be his chair- his very nice, very comfortable chair, which is now covered in a dark stain. “Like. As in. Uh. I’m going… to be a father?” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence. “Wait, but it’s a month early!”

Amy groans and clutches the armrests. “I  _ know,” _ she says, teeth clenched. “But it’s happening, so I need you to grab my  _ fucking _ bag!”

“Yep! Yep, yep, yep-” he grabs the hospital bag- “okay, getting to the car!”

Amy looks up at him. “Ohhhhh my God,” she groans. Jake rushes to her side, and then, faster than he can track it, Amy snatches the ring off Terry’s desk and slides it onto her finger. The clock- which the squad had bought for this express purpose- begins to toll.  _ Midnight. Fucknuggets. _ “Ha, sucker!” Amy yells.

“No, it’s  _ you _ who’s the sucker,” Holt calls from the back of the room. He holds up a gold band. “I’m afraid that the ring you’re wearing is a  _ fake.” _

Amy grins. Jake whips his head between the two of them, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. “Check the inside of that band,” Amy says.

Holt does. His face falls as he reads, “‘Who’s the sucker now,’” off the ring. He looks back up. “How?”

Jake turns back to Amy. “What-  _ how?” _

“I’m just that amazing,” Amy says.

“Are you even going into-”

Amy’s groan cuts across his question. “Yep. Yep. Still very much giving birth,” she pants. “And I’ll explain it all- oh,  _ fuck-” _ she pauses, and she takes a deep breath- “but first, let’s get this baby outta me.”

…

Throughout the ride to the hospital and the delivery of the baby, Amy maintains her death grip on Jake’s hand. She feels just the tiniest bit bad about it, but he is the one who did this to her (which she yells at him several times during the 18-hour ordeal), and any remorse she feels is overshadowed by the fact that a seven-pound  _ human being _ is pushing its way out of her vagina.

Finally, Rachel Hermione (they’re both huge Harry Potter nerds, sue them) Peralta-Santiago is out, and when she starts to cry, all (well, most) of the pain seems worth it to Amy. As soon as she’s weighed, the rest of the 99th Precinct stream into the room, even Gina. “Guys,” Amy whispers, careful not to wake her sleeping daughter, “meet Rachel.”

“We named her after the Captain,” Jake explains. Even though Amy and Jake had cleared the name with Holt months ago (as soon as they knew she was having a baby girl, so they could put the name in the pregnancy binder ASAP), he still sniffles.

“Oh my God, it’s a Peraltiago baby,” Charles says. He falls silent, and his eyes well up.

“‘Kaaay, that’s great, but Amy, how did you win?” Gina asks.

Amy grins. Not to toot her own horn, but she did  _ damn _ well. “I set you up, you dumb bastard,” she tells her husband. His eyebrows shoot up on his forehead. “I  _ knew _ that you’d find the ring, and I knew that you’d want to show off before midnight,” she crows (quietly, of course). “I  _ also _ knew that every woman in my family has given birth a month before their due date.” She looks at Holt. “Captain, you really shouldn’t store your heist plans in such an easy-to-get place.”

“Wha- that computer was heavily encrypted!” Holt exclaims, as indignantly as he can while still remaining quiet.

“And your password was  _ so _ simple,” Amy tells him. “It was just  _ Cheddar _ in hexadecimal code.” Holt’s eyebrows raise, too, and Amy’s grin widens. “So, I found out that the Captain knew about my family’s birthing history, and he’d planned to compliment both of us eight months before Halloween to increase our ‘validation libido,’” she quotes.

Jake scoffs. “That’s ridiculous, we don’t crave validation at every opportunity!”

“No way!” Amy says, laughing. Jake joins in, and they laugh- as loud as they dare, kind of fake- until Rosa clears her throat. “Okay, well, I knew that Holt would try something, so I made sure the security camera feed switched to show Jake getting the ring out of the ceiling at that precise moment… oh, except it was a  _ fake!” _ Amy hisses. “I broke into Terry’s desk and put the  _ real _ ring in there, so that Jake wouldn’t go looking for the fake when Holt stole it, and when he took it out- well, the rest is history,” she finishes.

“Goddamn,” Rosa says.

“How’d you time your labor like that?” Jake asks.

“Oh, I had a water balloon ready if my labor was too late, and you can delay labor for a few hours if it’s early,” Amy tells him. “That part was just luck.”

Holt slowly starts to applaud. “Santiago, that was  _ genius!” _

“I try,” Amy says smugly, most definitely not feeling an increase in her ‘validation libido.’

“I can’t believe I married you,” Jake tells her, leaning in to peck her on the lips. “Seriously. That was  _ awesome.” _

“Terry’s so proud of you guys,” Terry tells them.

“A Peraltiago baby!” Charles repeats.

“Yeah, we get it, Charles,” Rosa says. “But really, that was dope.”

“Oh, and by the way, Hitchcock and Scully wanted to come, but they fell asleep,” Holt says.

“Oh-kay then,” Jake says.

Amy looks down at her daughter- who, amazingly, is still sleeping.  _ You, Rachel, are the greatest prize I could’ve ever won. _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos/comments/criticism always appreciated :))


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